Tarquin Churchwell Announces!

New blog!
http://tarquinchurchwell-droppings.blogspot.com/

Major Funding for this Broadcast

This morning I, Tarquin Churchwell, wrote a post on my hater blog titled "How To Change Your IP To Someone Else's."

Fans, you can always count on me to share my crime tips.

Miss Understandings

I am going to die. Yep, someday I will kick the bucket into hell, and who knows if they have blogs down there?

This is what passes for insight and before it flies off into space, here's a special song that I picked out to play today. I want to dedicate it to my ex-wife, Debbie, and to what's her name, the mother of my two illegitimate sons, and to the women on the Internet - Susan, Kim, Tiffany and Scarlett - I have harmed you with my lies - and to my ex-girlfriends and to the girls I banged, when I was bored. You know who you are!

To all of you, I am sorry.



Gotcha! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

Administrator's note: "A Lover's Concerto" is no longer playing.

The Spawn of the Dark One

Today I created...

Blogopoly, the game that brings all the thrills of blogging right into your living room! Hosted by me, Tarquin Churchwell, Blogopoly features exciting graphics, real-time scoring and a battery-powered joy stick (not shown).

The Object of Blogopoly is to become the most satisfied player through the creation of hate-free blogs. In the Bonus Round, you can try to put me in jail!

Basic Instructions:
>Remove game box from the brown paper wrapper.

>Program the battery-powered joy stick.

>Choose the number of players -- 1 to 13 can play.

>Select a game piece to move around the board. You might choose the sledgehammer, sword, delete button, little red hatchet or stiletto shoe.

At the end of the game, players click on my hate blogs with their battery-powered joy sticks, a challenging finish that determines whether I will go to jail forever, or live among maggots under a rock.

Includes:
1 game board with game pieces.
1battery-powered joy stick.

Blogopoly can be yours for just $69.95 plus shipping. For shipping options, go to this page.

Features and accessories may vary. Batteries sold separately.

Beautiful

Yesterday, I posted this: "Everyone is beautiful." When fans read it, they emailed me in disbelief. How could I write that everyone is beautiful, they asked pitifully, since I'm always posting hate? Hate is my pasttime, my trademark and oldest habit.

After a year of blogging, it's getting harder to fool the fans...

I'll keep trying!

Get Up Offa That Thing

I don't know how I do it! Since I stepped off the Greyhound bus on Sunday, I've been extremely busy. I left new eye-popping comments on blogs, created some artwork, posted more libel on my hater blogs, and still found time to upload videos from New Hampshire. Whew!

Never Ends Like Pulling Taffy

I just got home and already I'm posting big WADS of hate. And if that don't surprise you, I posted about me emailing a "company" which, for a price, said they will "get rid of" THIS blog.

I miss prison a lot.

Administrator's note: "Jailhouse Rock" is no longer playing.

"All Aboard!"

Amazing Sunrise

Watching TV this morning, I captured this shot with my video camera.


Administrator's note: "My Kind of Town" is no longer playing.

Put It on Your Blog

"Let's get serious," my therapist said, as he handed me a poem by Edgar Allan Poe. "Take this home with you and read it," he begged. "Put it on your blog..."

Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then--in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life--was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.