Photo Thief, Plagarist, Child Porno Fan Churchwell Arrested

That's the headline that keeps swirling in my head.

Did the hundreds of "photo thief, plagiarist, child porno" posts I've written about innocent women really get me arrested?

Not yet!

You might as well tie up with a big yellow ribbon and call me a WANNABE PRISONER.

Churchwell KO'd by SUS

From the Tribune:
Services for the Underserved scored a tenth round victory against previously beaten holdover tenant Thomas "Boom Boom" Churchwell at Housing Court in Queens, New York last Thursday. Churchwell was penalized a hundred points for low blows and lies in rounds one, two, three, four, five and six. Services For The Underserved was credited with a victorious knockdown in round seven, as they battered Churchwell into the ropes.

"We beat him," said a jubilant SUS official. "We now have control of the SUS building."

My Shorts Are On Fire, Cause I'm A Liar!

Like I always prove on my other blogs, I don't tell the truth about myself, so how can I tell it about other people?

Thomas Churchwell: I Am The King Of Poop

I have a scatalogical fixation. Ever since I started blogging, I've been writing about poop.

Now that I am forty-five-years-old, I should STOP. Posting scatological stories about the Pope, like I did on my hate blog today, could land me in big trouble!

Tarquin Churchwell "Comes Clean" About Two Women

Today I wrote more lies about women on my hater blog. Here's the truth. Scarlett has NEVER written "child porno stories." Susan does NOT live in the "slums." Scarlett is NOT an "online prostitute", whatever that means, and she's definitely NOT an "old hag."

I need HELP!

The Shadow of Her Voice

(Revised) I threatened Scarlett on my hater blog today. Hooray for me, I'm a law breaker.

My threat was about this blog. I like to say that someone else is writing it, but why do I blame Scarlett? She NEVER claimed to be the author.

As for that recording of Scarlett's voice, I've been playing her "Get Lost, Tarquin" phone message on the Internet for more than a year...

Can I say creepy exploiter of women?

On a somewhat related topic, here is an email that I sent to another woman on my hater list. The style of this note is clearly my own. Nothing has been changed.

From: Tarquin Churchwell
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2007 3:56 PM
To: Suzi
Tell Scarlett I miss her voice. Please tell her to call me at 12 am tonight. She was the best thing I ever had.

That email shows how confused I am, fans. Anyways, Scarlett did not call, email, or blog about my note. If she had called me, I would have recorded her voice AGAIN!!!

Calling Nurse Ratched

It's official, today I flew over the cuckoo's nest.

Churchwell's Phone Sex Album

Yesterday I wrote about phone sex AGAIN and said AGAIN that I never had it.

HaHaHaHaHaHa!

Here are some of my bored phone sex partners. As you can see, I caught 'em with my web camera.

To see my phone bill, go here.